Yesterday (Tuesday, June 15 2004).......

...I lost, The One.

The One that is so precious, so rare and hard to come by. I’d patiently waited a long, long time for this One to emerge in my life too. People told me I was a fool, wasting my time waiting, hoping, longing for the One that would make my joy complete. My heart even grew bitter at times as the years wore on and The One still hadn’t appeared, and I had to watch as many of my peers came to that point in there lives and moved on, leaving me stranded and still waiting…alone.

I can remember when there were times that this coming of age brought them pain and misery, and in an effort to be a good friend I would try and console them. How I wished I could’ve comforted them by saying “It’s ok, I know how you feel…”, but I couldn’t! How could I? I hadn’t discovered my One yet, hadn’t even scratched the surface. And what’s more, most of everyone else had already had more than one come into their lives, more like three, or four! Still, good things come to those who wait, and the Special One finally made its presence known in my life.

At first, I could’ve been envious that most people I knew had at least 3 or 4 in their time, while I had to wait so long before I even came into contact with just one, but the scarcity of the One only increased its significance, elevating and magnifying my happiness. Alas, this heightening of my sensation was only for the purpose of making my emotional downfall that much more painful. The joy was short-lived.

It had been less than a year, and already my One was to be taken from me. Words can barely describe the feeling; a numbing pain, like a weak sedative that causes you to feel, but then not to feel. It’s like I knew exactly what was going on but it all happened so fast. Like hurtling through the air after diving off the edge of a cliff; wind is whistling by and water’s coming up fast, I prepare myself for impact, get ready to close my eyes, and the moment before I hit the water…someone had to gently tell me that it was already over. Will there ever be another One? No, I know it’s not possible. How you say? How can I be so sure? Let’s just say I can see the “future” and from what I can see right now, that was it.


Yesterday, I lost The only One. :'(